Dear Christmas, WTF?

It is that time of year again, where we all gather around the table to gorge ourselves until we can barely walk again. This is the day that we celebrate how thankful we are as a nation much like the pilgrims did with the Native Americans before we decided to massacre most of them. However, that day was a bit more of a big deal than our current Thanksgiving. The Pilgrims and the Native Americans celebrated together for three days. They were celebrating the harvest that they had just finished bringing in to get ready for the winter. The Thanksgiving day that we know today has been an official national tradition since 1863. Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of “Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens,” to be celebrated on Thursday, November 26 1863 as a federal and popular holiday in the U.S.

This holiday seems like it used to be a big deal to some people. Now however, we hardly even notice it. This holiday seems to seriously get the shaft, sandwiched between Halloween, and Christmas, it really is just a day for us to gorge ourselves silly, and fight with our families. We slow down for a few hours to be thankful for what we have, and then we set our sights on acquiring more crap when the doors open on stores for Black Friday.

The whole point of this is not how un-thankful we are, or how greedy we are, it is to defend the little guy, Thanksgiving. I will stand between it and the big bad bully that is Christmas. I mean seriously Christmas, why do you get to have the spotlight all the time? Why do you think you can waltz into the stores immediately after Halloween? Why can’t you let Thanksgiving have a little fun, and show everyone what it’s made of? It is time for me to put my foot down Christmas, and say BACK THE FUCK UP!

This ones for you Christmas:


The Green Guerilla